 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Adoption is one option for women who are pregnant and not ready and/or unable to care for a child once it is born. There are several reasons why a young woman may decide to give custody of her child to someone else, such as a relative or someone she does not know.
Some of these reasons might be that she:
There are different ways in which an adoption plan can be made, and this varies greatly from state-to-state. A young woman's can ask their health care provider can help with providing information about adoption agencies (private and public) or the name of a lawyer who specializes in adoption. Sometimes private adoptions (for example: having a relative take care of the child) are facilitated by clergy or people in the community, or it can be done formally with a lawyer. Potential parents are carefully screened to make sure that a baby is placed in a loving and safe home. In some instances, the birth mother (the woman giving birth) meets with the soon-to-be (adoptive) parents beforehand; in some situations, the birth mother has on-going contact with the child and family (open adoption). In other instances, the birth mother knows some information about the family who is adopting her child but chooses not to meet them.
It is important to know and feel that you are making the best decision you can. Take your time and explore your resources and options. You should feel comfortable with the process and with the information about the adoptive parents, both before the baby is born and afterwards.
Here are some questions to think about:
You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decision. Being a parent is a life-long commitment and if you are not able to make it at this time, placing your child for adoption is a responsible and loving decision.
Just as committing to an adoption plan was a serious decision, so is changing your mind. If after very careful thought, a consultation with trusted adults in your life you feel you have made a mistake, you may be able to stop the adoption process. The laws from state-to-state are all different, but all states require a waiting period between the time a child is transferred to another family and when the adoption becomes legal. Consult with the agency or lawyer that originally helped with the adoption process.
An open adoption is one in which the birth mother (and father if involved) have regular contact with the child and his/her adoptive parents. Your adoption agency can tell you more about the pros and cons of having an open adoption. This is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong way to do this.
In many instances birth mothers and adoptive parents (who are not in an open adoption situation) have contact over the years on a schedule suggested by the adoption agency. For instance, pictures of the child may be sent to you every year around the child's birthday or on a holiday. You can also ask for the birth parent to write a note each year about the child's milestones, successes, likes, and dislikes. As part of the adoption process you will decide upon the type and amount of contact you would like to maintain with the child and the adoptive family.
Birth mothers (and fathers if they are involved) are encouraged to write a letter to the child who is adopted.
These letters can include:
Typically this letter is sealed, given to the adoptive parents or agency but not given to the child until he or she is a teenager or young adult. Other than this, communication with the child as they are growing up is part of the adoption process. You will talk about this and work this out with the adoption agency before the baby is born.
Choosing to move forward with an adoption plan can be an emotional process even when a young woman is positive she is unable to be a parent right now. It is often very helpful to talk with a trusted adult about your concerns and fears. Be sure to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who love and support you so that you can make the best decision for you and your baby.
 Previous |
Next: Abortion |
Updated: 3/14/2011
|
Looking for other health info? Check our A-to-Z Index. ©1998-2012 Center for Young Women's Health, Children's Hospital Boston. All rights reserved.
About Us Health Guides By Topic
|
Printer Friendly
