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Reproductive Q&A for Cancer Survivors:

Sexual Relationships After Cancer

 

-Hormones and Ovaries -Fertility Treatments
-Premature Ovarian Failure -Other Fertility Issues
-Fertility and Pregnancy current guideSex After Cancer

 

Will I be able to have a normal sex life?

Most likely the answer is yes. However, cancer survivors often face psychological issues because of their struggles with cancer. Therefore, having a sexual relationship might involve thinking a lot about your inner feelings and sharing with your partner how cancer has impacted you emotionally. Many cancer survivors have difficulty with their body image. Treatment for cancer may have left you with scars from operations, a loss of body weight, a loss of parts of your body (such as a breast, arm, or leg), or other physical changes. You may have fears and anxieties about sharing your new body with a partner, and about what his or her response might be. Talking with your partner and telling him or her about your fears may help you to better understand each other.

 

Is it normal for it to take a long time before feeling comfortable in a relationship?

Yes. Some cancer survivors worry about being "abnormal," or different, in their social and sexual development because of the struggles they've been through. Because of this, you might have a hard time getting comfortable in your relationships, or you could find it difficult to discuss with your partner what you want in a relationship. It is important to remember that lots of girls who have not had cancer feel better moving at a slower pace for many different reasons. There is no reason to rush your relationship, and you should take as much time as you need to feel comfortable with your partner. There is nothing wrong with taking your time!

 

What physical problems might I have with intercourse?

Some cancer survivors may have sexual problems because of their cancer treatment. These include a lowered sexual response, pain, vaginal dryness, and less of an interest in sex. Surgery that has changed the size or shape of your vagina may cause difficulty with intercourse. In addition, if you have POF, you might have vaginal dryness and less of an interest in sex because of low hormone levels. Vaginal dryness can cause pain with intercourse, but vaginal lubricants like K-Y JellyTM or AstroGlideTM often help with this problem. If you take HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), it is likely that most of these symptoms will go away.

 

Should I tell my partner about my cancer?

Sharing information about your cancer with a romantic partner is a very personal decision. It is a difficult one to make because it's hard to know when the time is right to bring it up. Some girls worry that their partner will find them less attractive if they find out about their cancer, or that the news will "scare them away."

 

You should talk about your cancer when you feel ready and comfortable with sharing it. Your partner will not be able to tell from having intercourse with you that you have had cancer. However, if you have had surgery on your vagina you might have physical changes that your partner could have questions about, and you may want to prepare some answers.

 

In recent years there has been a great improvement in the survival rates for girls and women who have had cancer. Your quality of life after surviving cancer is extremely important. Be sure to take care of yourself! Click here for tips on Staying Healthy. If you have any concerns, be sure to talk with your doctor or nurse so that all of your questions are answered.

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Written by the Center for Young Women's Health Staff

 

Updated 3/12/06

 

 

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