Center for Young Women's Health

Counseling and Therapy



  • A counselor can help you understand your feelings and problems.
  • Finding a counselor who feels like the right fit can take time.
  • Effective counseling can give you skills to cope with the stresses of everyday life.
  • At some point, everyone needs help!

There are many changes and experiences that happen during your teenage years, which can be challenging. If you're having trouble dealing with certain situations or emotions, you might find counseling to be a helpful way of sorting things out.


Why should I go to counseling?

If you're thinking about whether counseling could be helpful to you, here are some questions to ask yourself:

If you answered YES to any of these questions, it may be a good idea for you to talk with a counselor (also known as a therapist). A counselor or therapist is an adult who has special training to help people sort through their feelings and problems. Teens and young adults go to counseling for many reasons. It's often very helpful to have someone objective to listen to your concerns and help you figure out your options both in your day-to-day life and in the future.


Whatever you and your counselor discuss will remain confidential. Confidential means that the therapist cannot tell anyone, not even your parents, about what the two of you talk about without your permission. The exception to this rule is that if the counselor feels that you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, including being abused or neglected, he/she is obligated by law to break confidentiality in order to keep you safe.


How do I find a counselor?

Many adults can help you find a counselor. You can ask your health care provider (doctor or nurse) for a referral in your clinic or neighborhood. You can also ask your guidance counselor at school to refer you to a counselor who deals with mental health issues. Sometimes counselors meet with students at school. You can also ask a teacher, youth advisor, clergy person, or parent or guardian to help you find a counselor. You may also want to check out mental health agencies in your area. Your insurance company also has lists of counselors covered by your plan. The counselor's specialties are always listed, so you can chose someone who works with teens (adolescents) and has skills you would like them to have.


What types of counselors are there?

You have many options when seeking a counselor, and the typical referrals are to a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or licensed mental health counselor. All of these professionals are also referred to as therapists and are trained to understand feelings and behaviors and know ways to help people through difficult times. There are counselors in all the following disciplines who work with teenagers:

What will happen when I decide to talk with a counselor?

Before you make an appointment with a specific counselor, you or your parents should check with the "behavioral medicine" office of your health insurance. By law ALL insurance policies must offer insurance for counseling, but the policies and what is covered varies between insurance companies. Be sure to ask about possible mental health deductibles and your co-pay, and how many sessions will be covered. It may feel uncomfortable or too much work to make this call, but try not to let it get in the way of you starting counseling.


What should I expect from counseling?

When you start talking with a counselor you should expect to meet with one person who will get to know you pretty well. Sometimes you will talk about serious things and sometimes less important things: this is how you begin to build a relationship. Most counselors understand that it takes a lot of courage to begin counseling and often takes time to get used to talking and sharing. It's usually hard to tell on the first session if you feel comfortable enough to discuss all the things that are important to you. Try to give yourself and the counselor a chance. If after a few visits you still don't feel okay about talking with the counselor, you should discuss this with the person who made the referral. Most likely you'll have a chance to choose another counselor. This is fine! It might take a few tries to find a counselor that you like and whom you feel you can communicate with, but don't give up. Since you'll be talking about sensitive issues, you deserve to feel totally safe and comfortable with the counselor you choose.


What kinds of questions will the therapist/counselor ask me?

At the first visit, the counselor may ask you many questions about your life and how you've been feeling during the past year. You will also be asked about your family, your family history and the things which you feel are important for the therapist to know about you. He/she may want you to bring your parent(s) or guardian(s) with you on the first visit. The type of help you are offered by your counselor will depend on what you tell them and the kind of relationship that you develop. Teenagers sometimes bring their family members or other significant people to some of their counseling sessions to help improve communication in those relationships. Other times, teens may want the time all alone with their therapist to explore feelings and issues without their parents in the conversation. The parameters or limits are set by you and your therapist.


How long does counseling usually last?

Counseling lasts different periods of time for different people. Your counselor will work with you to decide how the sessions will fit into your schedule. You might meet with your counselor once a week for as little as 30 minutes or as long as 60 minutes. Sometimes you might choose to meet with your counselor more often (2 or more days per week) or less often (every two weeks). You may continue meeting with your counselor for a longer amount of time. You, your parents, and your counselor should be aware of how many sessions your health insurance will cover and if you need another referral. Many counselors are willing to work out special arrangements for continuing counseling after a patient has used up her insurance for the year.


What else can I do?

Besides going to counseling, there are many activities you can do on your own to try to work through difficult feelings and solve problems. You might want to try talking with a parent, good friend, or another trusted adult in your life. You might try writing down your feelings in a journal or diary. Other things to try are relaxation exercises, listening to music, watching a good movie, or exercising. Also try getting involved in an activity that you are good at such as a sport, drama, music, dancing, or hobbies (such as writing or reading). The combination of doing activities you like to do and talking with a counselor will help to improve how you are feeling and make your everyday life much easier.


Written and reviewed by the CYWH Staff at Boston Children's Hospital


Updated: 3/10/2014


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