Cyberbullying: A Guide for Teens

Cyberbullying:

A Guide for Teens

Have you ever been put down, made fun of, threatened, or verbally attacked online? If you answered “yes”, you have been cyberbullied. Other examples of cyberbullying can include mean text messages to your phone or other handheld digital devices, embarrassing statements or lies about you in a chat room, blog or bulletin board. No matter what kind of technology is used, cyberbullies send cruel messages to their victims and sometimes to others (such as the victim’s classmates) that they probably wouldn’t say face-to-face.

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is about negative online communication between kids, preteens and teenagers, but not adults. If adults become involved in this kind of behavior, it is called “adult cyber-harassment.” The negative remarks are in the form of a threat or statement that is meant to make someone feel bad. It is usually a lie but can be something real that the victim shared with someone. It can be one statement but in most cases it is frequent messages over time that is meant to torment the victim. The victim can be cyberbullied by one person or many people or the cyberbully can get others, even adults, to do their dirty work for them. The people that end up sending nasty messages may not even know that they are being used by the cyberbully. It can be someone who used to be your friend or someone you don’t know very well. Research shows that when someone is cyberbullied, the victim often cyberbullies back. The results are never positive.

Examples of cyberbullying:

Sydney sent Betty an email that said she was fat, stupid and ugly.
Maria sent Mike repeated emails that he was hot, that she wanted to go to the prom with him, and then she cc’d all her girlfriends and said, “It was only a joke.”
Mia photo shopped a naked picture with Gina’s face and posted it on MySpace®.
Chad sent a text message to Jose’s cell phone threatening him that if he went out with Taylor he would beat him up
Kiera posted a note in a popular after-school study group chat that Shawna was the biggest blank in the 10th grade.

Other forms of cyberbullying include:

Emailing a computer virus to someone
Emailing X-rated or pornographic pictures to another person via a computer or other handheld devices
Signing someone up for lots of online marketing lists and junk mail
Verbally abusing another person during an online game
Stealing another person’s password and pretending to be that person in a chat room.
Building fake online profiles on social networking sites such as: AIM®, MySpace®, and Facebook®

How is Cyberbullying different from bullying?

Bullying is when a person(s) harasses another person. Bullies can exist at school, in your neighborhood or other places but you know who they are because they make fun of people or tease them in person.

Cyberbullying is done using computers or hand held digital devices such as cell phones. You may or may not be able to figure out who the cyberbully is because their identity is often hidden behind digital or computer technology. Cyberbullying is not only cruel to those who are victims; it is a serious danger as hurtful material can reach many more people than in person. It can ruin friendships and cause a lot of damage to a person’s self-esteem. There have even been a few cases in the news where teens have committed suicide because they were the targets of repeated cyberbullying.

Different kinds of Cyberbullying:

Direct attacks are made directly by the cyberbully such as sending a mean text message to someone’s cell phone, bashing them in a blog, emailing them pornographic or X-rated pictures, sending computer viruses and/or stealing their password.

Indirect attacks or Cyberbullying by proxy is when the cyberbully has someone else do the damage. An example of this is when a cyberbully steals a person’s password and then sends cruel messages to all the friends on the person’s buddy list. Sometimes cyberbullies will even get the parent(s) of a victim to respond and then the parent(s) becomes involved in the online bullying. Another example of cyberbullying by proxy is when a teen makes a false report to an ISP (Internet Service Provider). This is typically done through IM accounts or in chat rooms. The person’s ISP will usually send the victim a warning but if the reports continue, even if they are false, the ISP has the right to close the victim’s account.

What makes a teen become a cyberbully?

Some teens who get involved in cyberbullying don’t realize the impact or consequence of what they say online or in a text message. They may feel that saying something online or via a text message is not as bad as if they said it in person. It may even start out as a joke. Others use cyberbullying because they don’t have the courage to say something face to face. Anyway you look at it cyberbullying is wrong because the remarks are usually untrue, very hurtful and can be damaging to the victim.

What should I do if I am the victim of cyberbullying?

Although the first emotion you feel may be anger and the desire to get even, don’t respond. If you respond, you will likely email or text something about the other person you will regret later. Remember if you react on the same level, you are considered a cyberbully too. Instead, do not respond but save the messages in a folder and get off the site or out of the chat room (wherever the remark was made) right away. Get the support of a close friend and tell a parent(s) or guardian or other adult you trust.

In extreme cases (when there have been serious threats made) it may be necessary for you and your parents to report the situation to your ISP (Internet Service Provider) and to the police. In this case, you should be prepared to answer the following questions:

What kind of threat was it? (direct or indirect)
What was said exactly? (print the text)
What type of technology was used to make the threat? (IM, cell phone, other hand held device—one or many methods)
How often has the threat occurred? (once, many times, more each day)
Do you know who is responsible for the threats? (you know exactly who it is, you think you know who is doing it, or you have no idea who is making the threats).

Although you may feel like it’s unfair that this is happening to you, do not bully back! Be sure to tell your parent(s) or guardian about the cyberbullying before it gets too far, and tell the police if someone has made serious threats to you!

Here are some important tips to decrease the risk of cyberbullying:

Never, ever give your password out to anyone except your parent(s) or guardian and never borrow anyone else’s password either.
Don’t join in on the bashing. If someone says something rude about another person, remove yourself from the discussion or chat and/or let others know that it is wrong to say cruel things about anyone.
Be careful what you send people through emails. Always check the source of an email before you forward it as it may contain a virus or inappropriate pictures. In other words, know what (IM, email, text message) you are sending and to whom you are sending it.
Don’t forward emails with personal information. It’s easy to hit the send button and send a funny joke to share with your friends but be aware that when you do this you run the risk of forwarding the sender’s personal information too. Either ask the sender for permission to forward the email or delete the sender’s personal information before you hit the forward key.
Don’t hide behind your computer. If you are upset with someone, first cool down. Next organize your thoughts and make a point to meet with the person and talk it out. It’s never a good idea to email or text a message that you wouldn’t say directly to a person.
Never pretend to be someone you are not in chat rooms, IM’ing, in blogs, or on social networking sites like MySpace®. It’s okay to use a nickname and not to give out personal information, just don’t pretend to be another person.

What is the best way to protect myself from cyberbullying?

The best way to protect yourself from cyberbullying is not to start it. If you are a victim of cyberbullying or you observe it, don’t bully back. Don’t respond but save the emails or text messages to a folder and talk with an adult! You have the option of forwarding inappropriate emails to: abuse@... where "..." is the domain which is the cyberbully’s internet resource provider (ISP). For example if the person sending you the mean or embarrassing messages has a yahoo account. You could email: abuse@yahoo.com and write a note explaining what happened. If something bad happens on a social networking site, such as MySpace®, you can report it directly to Myspace®. Although your school may not be able to help stop the cyberbullying if it happened outside of school, the guidance department at your school may be able to offer counseling and resources to you and your family.

Other ways to deal with repeated cyberbullying attacks:

Use an email filter and arrange for all the messages from the cyberbully to go to a special folder
You can block people from your buddy list on AIM and in chat rooms by clicking the “Block Buddy” button.
You can buy special software for your computer that can track annoying emails from random people. Then you can set up the program to send these emails to the cyberbully’s ISP.

Most teens would agree that having computers, cell phones, and other digital devices make it easy and fun to communicate with friends and others yet this kind of communication comes with risks. You can make a difference by being aware of the possible risks and by breaking the cycle of any inappropriate messages that you might see. Consider being an advocate against cyberbullying in your school or become an internet safety mentor and if the cyberbullying doesn’t stop, be sure to tell your parent(s), guardian or adult you trust.

Written by the Center for Young Women's Health Staff

This Cyberbullying health guide is made possible by a grant from the The Comcast Foundation.

Updated 3/10/2008

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