College Health:
Homesickness

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Homesickness

If you're living away from home for the first time, you may find yourself wondering "How could I be homesick? I've wanted to get away from home for so long!" However, the truth is almost every college student will miss something about home during their years away at school. Whether it's something as small as missing your mom's cooking or something bigger such as wishing you lived closer to your friends, everyone feels it. Read on for tips to help you deal with homesickness and ways to get the most out of your college experience.

Is it normal to feel homesick at college?

The first couple of weeks at college may seem great, but as the weeks continue and homework begins to pick up the thrill of being away from home can get old. It's typical to ask yourself "Am I really happy here?" It's normal to have mixed feelings about college life and yes, it's perfectly normal to miss your family, friends, and home. Learning ways to cope with these feelings will help you move on so you can get the most out of your college experience.

Getting Used to Roommates

You may or may not have had to share a room with a sibling while you were living at home, but having one or more roommates at college is a very different experience. Even if you become friends with your roommate(s), there still may be times where you feel like you have to constantly negotiate. If you've tried your best to communicate with your roommate and you're still feeling frustrated, don't hesitate to contact your Resident Director (RD) or Resident Advisor (RA) to schedule a private meeting. It's important to know that college campuses offer a wide variety of resources to help you solve even the smallest problem, such as mediation, or a room transfer. The environment at college should feel safe and comfortable, just like at home.

Making New Friends

It's completely normal to miss your friends from home, especially the ones you've known since you were little! However, college is the perfect place to meet lots of new people and develop new and exciting relationships. If you're wondering how to meet people, college orientation is the perfect start, because everyone is new - just like you. During orientation you'll probably be encouraged to participate in ice breaker activities that will help you get to know your fellow classmates. Once you get settled, try joining a club, a team sport, volunteering, or getting involved on campus. Colleges and universities both big and small offer a wide range of activities and clubs similar to those in high school.

Adjusting to Your New Surroundings

It's important to understand that by going home every weekend (if you live close), or as often as you can (if you live farther away) can make it even harder to overcome feeling homesick. Instead of making the trip home, try inviting a family member or friend up for a visit. Get to know the town you're living in and show off your new surroundings by taking your family or friends out for a shopping trip, a sporting event, or a day trip to a surrounding city.

Other things you can do to that will help you stop the urge to go home:

• Keep busy and fill your weekends with fun activities that are offered by your school.
• Look forward to long weekends or vacations when you can go home for an extended amount of time.
• Remember that in the scheme of things, spending time away will make you appreciate your home town and family more than you might imagine.

Making Your Dorm Feel Like Home

Your home away from home should feel cozy and comfortable. Although you probably won't be able to paint your room, you can always decorate. Try putting up your favorite posters and pictures that remind you of friends and family. You'll probably be spending lots of time in your room, so also make sure the environment is clean, calm, and relaxing.

Cooking Your Own "Family" Meals

You might be used to having your meals cooked for you, and you might miss the feeling of sitting down to dinner with your family every night. However, many dorms or resident halls have small kitchens for students to use. You can learn how to make some of your favorite home-cooked dinners and create a meal for your friends. You can invite a group of people and make a weekly or monthly tradition to have "family dinners". This is a great way to get out of the dining hall and enjoy a home cooked meal with others.

Staying In Touch With Friends and Family

Since it's relatively easy to communicate, take comfort in knowing that your loved ones are only a phone call, e-mail, or text message away. Try to set aside at least one day a week to call home, or if your computer has the capability, you can even video chat. If you can't see your friends and family face-to-face, a simple "Thinking of you!", or "Let's catch up this week" message lets them know that you care, and that you'd love to talk with them.

Take advantage of the resources your college or university offers. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed that you're missing home because you're not alone! Find someone you can trust and feel comfortable talking to - whether it's a friend, RA, professor, or counselor. The feeling of missing home will pass with time. Don't be surprised if you find out that you miss college when you're home on school breaks!

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Written and reviewed by the CYWH Staff at Children's Hospital Boston

Updated: 1/21/2011